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Straight liberation

By Walter G. Meyer

November 21, 2006

San Diego--“Thank God, I have done my duty. Kiss me, Hardy.” (Adm. Horatio Nelson, dying words, 21 Oct 1805.)

There it was in another football game. One wide receiver kissing another after a touchdown. Several times this year coaches have kissed a player in a post-game or post-scoring show of affection. Tough-guy Steeler Coach Bill Cowher kissed Joey Porter, although Cowher’s oversized, steel chin risked putting Porter on the injured reserve list for the rest of the season. Coach Bill Parcells seems to have opened a kissing booth on the Cowboys’ sidelines.

The Archie Bunkers of the real world fought women’s liberation of the 60’s and 70’s, not realizing that women’s freedom was also the pathway to their own. Men were now free to be, ironically, more feminine. As women were becoming free to go out in the world and take on more traditionally ‘masculine’ roles, men were free to stay home and take care of the kids and enter traditionally ‘female’ fields such as nursing, teaching and being flight attendants. Men were now even allowed to cry at movies and be sensitive.

The prison guard is as much in prison as the convicts he watches. By tearing down the penitentiary walls, he liberates himself.

This sudden show of affection on the football field has its roots in “Brokeback Mountain” and other harbingers of the increasing acceptance of gayness in our society. As being gay becomes less of a bad thing, men can act ‘gay’ without ridicule.

The whole “metrosexual” phenomenon wouldn’t be possible without the de-stigmatization of gayness. Carrying a man purse, or getting a manicure, or knowing what wine to serve with veal would have been seen as ‘gay’ not very long ago. But now, even if it is seen as gay, who cares? As the popularity of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” has shown, many straight men would like to learn some of the ‘softer’ skills that are seen as traditionally ‘gay.’

If Cowher, Parcells, et al., are comfortable showing appreciation and affection that way (when no one would ever question the heterosexuality of these men) then soon seeing two men kiss in public will seem no more odd than seeing two women kiss or hug without automatically thinking, “Ewww, lesbians!” (Actually, what most guys think is, “Ooooh, lesbians!” But that’s another story.)

Even some of my straight male friends have adopted hugging, as opposed to a handshake, as the preferred method of greeting a guy. As there is less condemnation of being gay, there is also less reason for men to keep their feelings bottled up.

Instead of fighting gay rights, straight men should embrace them as their ticket to being able to freely express the repressed aspects of their personality. If there is no shame left in being gay, a guy can be the man he wants to be, regardless of how ‘feminine’ that man is. Maybe we should just do away with the terms ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ and ‘gay’ and feel free to act ‘human’ to each other if that means we are free to kiss and hug whoever we wish, whenever we wish. As a man, I’m a little offended that fighting, killing, rudeness and insensitivity are seen as ‘masculine.’ Why should only ‘feminine’ people have all of the fun?

Let’s see if Marty Schottenheimer kisses Shawne Merriman to welcome him back to the Chargers. Don’t bet against it.

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